Thursday, September 27, 2012

Return Policy

What a God given gift the national chains of America bring to each of us! A return policy can be found on any receipt, some employees will give you a 15 second explanation if you've never heard it before, and sometimes it looks like small print hidden in mischievious places in a contract.

Have you ever tried to return something? Wal-Mart could care less if you bring back the object half broken they know you will come back and spend more money later. One time Hubby and I spent 2 hours at Wal-Mart returning a microwave with no receipt, no box, and no recollection of when we bought it. XXI will only take back clothing with a receipt within 30 days or you get a gift card when all you really wanted was CASH. Who made up these stupid rules anyways?

Last night, Hubby and I figured out that we are more than lucky to have a 14-day return on our guinea pigs. As we sat in bed watching a recorded X Factor while playing with Minx and Cheeky we realized Hubby's efforts to ease me into pet ownership was a total EPIC FAIL! Or maybe Cheeky is depressed because we chose the wrong buddy for her as so demonstrated by her lack of enthusiasm in EVERYTHING! Hubby asked me if I wanted to exchange her for maybe a more lively playmate and my first thought was Oh's my chance to escape. Do I take it and run or just suck it up?

I'm totally running, like the wind during a hurricane in the Carribean! Hubby was saddened by my missed love connection with the small animals. I may not have that gene and he may just have to deal with that his whole life. Heck! He has enough of that gene for the both of us! To soften the blow Hubby added, "Well I guess it's a good thing since we won't have anyone to take care of them and feed them during the holidays when we are gone". My response in a soft monotone voice trying to hide my joy, "Yeah, that's right". We are impulse buyers by nature and Minx and Cheeky were impulsive decisions.

This got me thinking...what if Hubby and I bring children into this world and it's not what I imagine? There is NO RETURN POLICY and what you get instead are sleepless nights, cranky mornings, poopy diapers, vomit on your favorite shirt, loud obnoxious crying, a husband that seems to go deaf at night, and so much more. It is a 24/7/365/∞ <--- That's not very comforting although I'm sure the "Mommys" will tell me that the good outweighs the bad it hovers gloomily over my head. I really shouldn't be tossing this anxiety around in my head anyways, it won't be for another two years that Hubby and I have children. I guess I feel like to fit in with all the other married couples at church we need the one accessory they all possess: child(ren). Maybe it's the fact that I am turning 25 in a month which brings on a whole new level of emotions.

Or maybe I'm just not a pet lover/enthusiast and even though I tried for a split second for Hubby's sake it's just not gonna happen.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Adding to the Family

DON'T get excited people...I'm NOT pregnant! However, Josh and I bought 2 baby girl guinea pigs over the weekend. It came about one bored Saturday afternoon...We had left Wal-Mart finished with all of our errands and decided to browse some other stores. He wanted to go into Petco first and I agreed thinking we might just look around. His real reasoning for taking me there was to buy me any type of pet, anything to soften my heart towards animals. He teased me telling me he might buy me a turtle and call it even for my birthday and Christmas. (YEAH RIGHT! haha). So we came in and then I saw this big fat guinea pig just laying there all alone. Before I could even look over to Josh he was already drooling over the glass asking if he could hold the big guy. The saleswoman started to jingle her keys to open the glass and the guinea pig instantly knew to run over to the opening eager for someone to hold him. He had been the last of them mainly and according to the saleswoman he was a stinker...quite the brat. However, she offered an alternative, she had received a new shipment earlier that day and asked if we wanted to hold those instead. Of course we said yes but felt bad that the "stinker" slowly made his way back to his corner looking sad...another disappointment!

We got to hold two little girls about 3 months old and we fell in love. I got the short haired, black, brown, and white one while Josh elected the long haired brown and white furrball. We got home and let them loose in the apartment while Scuffy sniffed around trying to make heads or tails of it. He made tails of it....he was not happy about the matter. Josh named his little one Minx which seems to fit perfectly. She is a ball of energy, curious about every nook and cranny, she ran around crazily looking for trouble. Minx is truly Josh's little girl, those two are so alike (if you've ever witnessed Josh with too much energy lol). He's even trying to teach her how to be his "Shoulder Buddy" she sits on his shoulder and watches him to hw on the computer (It's super sweet). Cheeky on the other hand is clam, reserved, she's a lady and she loves to cuddle. So for now we are enjoying our new furry friends and we love it.

BTW-They don't smell. I make sure of it. I can't stand smelly homes especially due to pets.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Potty Training

No one ever told me until now but apparently I sit incorrectly on the toilet. As you can see from the picture above I have been doing it for quite some time. Josh has corrected me in the "Right Way" of sitting on a toilet. Most people sit facing straight (usually holding some type of reading material) but not me. I sit slanted, to one side usually with my elbows on knees and hands holding my face (unless something else is in my hands). Josh laughs every time he gets to witness it (which isn't too often it's still weird doing my business in front of a male). He tells me I look like I'm slouched ready to watch TV on the sofa rather than take a dump!

Josh enjoys his time on the Big Throne, so much so that he has particular practices to make this daily occurrence run smoother and efficiently. I won't go into the gory details or I might lose quite a few readers but he has instructed me and still I refuse.

For me sitting on the toilet has always been a chore. I hate having to take the time to just sit on the toilet. To help pass the time I will sometimes do one or more of the following: (my old roommates can attest to it)

Brushing my teeth
Browsing through FB
Talking on the phone
Brushing my hair
Putting on make-up
Reading a book or magazine (but who doesn't?)

Obviously back when I was first being potty trained my multitasking involved destroying the toilet paper. So I guess what I've learned is that Josh will have to handle all of the potty training with our children. (YES! You can imagine me jumping in the air with my hands balled up in fists as I enjoy my victory).