Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Giselle's Love Life Exposed

The Sunday before Thanksgiving, Josh and I awaited patiently for my sister to arrive from her 20 some odd hour drive down from Provo, Utah. She had 3 others in the car with her.

Luke-An energetic, Spanish/Korean speaking Kiwi with a passion for Fantasty novels.

Georgia- Luke's sister, sweet like sugar (enough said).

Hayden-The "Boyfriend"

The drive, speaking from experience, was long and arduous. Giselle being the host forgot her duties and didn't bring water or healthy snacks to munch on. These kids were hopped up on sugar, mountain dew, and were quite dehydrated and delirious when they got to my house. Luckily we had some homecooked Chili with lots of water (they even slipped in some vitamins). After lunch we watched a movie as we all relaxed before they drove down 4 more hours down to Houston.

We met them in Conroe (where my dad's ranch is located) on Wednesday night to start the holiday weekend. It was rowdy and loud with all 20 somthing people (mostly family) at the house but loads of fun. Thanksgiving was delicious and believe it or not we DID NOT nap! (Tragic... I know). However, it was hard to think of sleep when we had a four wheeler, Go Kart, a chopped up Pathfinder ripping through the forest and a bit of mud. We even snuck in a few hours at Wal-Mart on Black Friday (an event I will NEVER take Josh to again). ADVICE: Anyone with a temper or lack of patience should not be allowed to leave the house during Black Friday!! We were in a red neck town and by the looks of all the camo it wasn't a good idea to piss anyone off. We made it through safe and sound. Luke and Georgia enjoyed the experience and got great deals on candy and socks. My cousin, Prissy, and I were a little more ambitious we went for the lap top and cam corder devices.

So during our short vacation we finally got to meet and experience Giselle's boyfriend (one we actually liked) and here is what we gathered:

Rugby player so yes he's a Kiwi (she loves the accent), a bit quiet or reserved (must of been nerves), EATS a lot thus always hungry, quick learner (now knows more complete sentences in Spanish), loves to wear same type of round neck t-shirts (sticks to black and white colors) but has one with a pocket too, nice guy, served a mission in New Zealand, according to Giselle he majors in interior design(lol she forgets it's actually Industrial Design), pretty good at pool....well as you can see the list can go on and on. Basically Giselle likes him a lot and so do we (could take my dad a little while longer though...TIP to Hayden: Find common ground other than Giselle)

Although we missed our Jo-Mama this year we are thankful Hayden was with us to fill a spot in our family and maybe someday a permanent spot as well. Luke and Georgia were so much fun as well. We have so much to be thankful for this year all in all it has been an amazing year for our family.

Favorite quote of the week.Luke is trying to teach Hayden spanish....Luke says "Quien es tu papi?" Hayden's face looks confused "Huh?" We all just bust out laughing....*ahhh good times*

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thank you, Gracias, Danke, Merci, Grazie etc

In the spirit of the Thanksgiving holiday I decided to write a few of the things I'm most grateful for past, present, and future. I like how people are using social media to let everyone know each day how thankful they are for the people in their lives, the things they have, etc. However, my new goal is to not use social media as often and instead grab a book, write, or call a friend (it would be better use of my time).

These are in no particular order just what popped into my head.

I am thankful for family. Not just my husband or siblings and parents but every single member of my family dating back to Adam and Eve, were it not for the decisions of each of them ,good and bad, I would not be where I am today.

I am grateful for my friends: they support me, cry with me, love me unconditionally, don't judge me, make me laugh, and are there for me when I need them most.

Extremely thankful for language because without it I wouldn't be able to express myself.

I'm in complete debt to my Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ for all of the blessings he bestows upon me. Words cannot fully express how thankful I am for his sacrifice and all he gives to me.

One day I will have a slew of fans all around the world which I am thankful for but for now I am grateful for the few who support my writing.

A specific shout out to my Hubby, my partner for the eternities, I am appreciative of his loving and tender ways, his determination, his character and personality which balances me out.

On a quick side note: I am thankful for pilgrims who years later make it possible for me to get 2 paid days off of work to stuff my face and watch football *ahhh the life*

I could go on and on and on when it comes to the things that I am thankful for because the list is endless from the electrons in my body's atoms to the stars billions of miles away that shine down on me, filling my soul with hope and wonder for the future.

Life is so precious, thus very fragile. Praying helps me remember this simple fact and reminds me to always a spirit of thanksgiving in my heart.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

A Quarter of a Century

It's been 8 days 4 hours 8 minutes and 15 seconds since I turned 25.

Josh woke up at 4 am to get ready for work and as he shuffled, my eyes began to adjust to the faint light coming from the kitchen. The first thought was "Why didn't he wake me up with a kiss?" He was way ahead of me already getting my present all fixed up and setting it in the room so it'd be the first thing I saw when I woke up. Sure enough I sat up and saw this huge birthday bag with blue tissue paper sticking out of it. As I quickly fixed my hair and rubbed the tiredness out of my eyes, I looked up and there he was standing in the door way just staring at me. He came in and said "Happy Birthday my love" and hugged me tight.

I turned my attention to the present and teared up as I read the card (he always puts so much thought and attention to the cards he gets me, all of which I have saved up in our special "box"). Luckily Josh knows me well enough even through our short 10 months of being together. He got me a purse that's all me and just a splash of him. He noticed I was fumbling around with some Sponge Bob Square Pants slippers at Wal-Mart just a few days before and those appeared in the big bag as well (he didn't exactly get the size right but his intentions were good because I love how cozy my feet feel in them). And last but not least some sugar to keep my fruity satisfactions throughout the week since I don't like chocolate.

We shared a special moment as we blew out the candles on a slice of cheese cake and made a wish (we hope will come true by next year). And then out of no where appeared a small box tied with a ribbon. Josh said he was thinking of giving it to me later in the day but he thought She's going to think that's it?! I opened the box and inside neatly wrapped was a pearl necklace with earrings. He knew I had been wanting a pearl necklace for some time. It was such a great birthday and being able to finally share it with my one true love is even better. Through the ups and downs, the tears and joy, the laughter and anger there isn't another person on this planet I would rather share those moments with.

This is how we spent my birthday.
Dallas Aquarium 

Jelly fish glowing in the dark

Feeding time for the Jaguar 

Stinky + beautiful coloring=Flamingo's 

Couldn't believe this fit this giant in the tank!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Guns or Roses?

So yes, a gun did this to my eye....ok well the scope on a 30/30 rifle did it. Let me start at the beginning....Josh was supposed to be looking out for me but I guess he thought Daddy's Little Princess could manage especially since Daddy is AKA Rambo with all the guns he has. So a fun weekend turned into a trip to Urgent Care with my eye bleeding out. Josh wanted to shoot the rifle a few times before the rest of our crew met us out in Conroe for the weekend. He had bought a few target sheets (of which they were miniscule which in turn shattered my focus as well as my eye). The first time I shot it hit the tree above the target sheet and so I was determined to hit it. I crouched down got into position (FYI I can't wink so I had both eyes open to view the scope...WARNING: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME it is very hard to look through a scope with both eyes and focus) it took a good 3 minutes before I got the shot and when the gun kicked back it hit me in the eye. So because my concentration was focused else where I completely forgot to hold the gun correctly against my shoulder. It felt like a ton of bricks...I literally mean a ton of bricks hit my eye. I didn't feel the blood oozing out of my eye until Josh came over to me and his face held horror in his eyes.
I didn't feel pain and I didn't cry (Daddy's Little Princess is a trooper!) I held my forehead as I tried to put pressure on the wound while I walked inside and washed up. My cousins Jackie and Marty seemed to be freaking out a bit trying to figure out what to do. I saw the cut in the mirror and said, "Let's go...I need stitches" Josh called a few places and we headed out. He felt really bad and the whole way there he couldn't help but blame himself. It was an accident and I got lucky it wasn't as bad as it could have been, thankfully.

So 2 hours later I've got 6 stitches, a whoozy husband (oh my how will he handle child birth), and a rumbling stomach and I was ready to get back to it. I didn't experience too much pain through out (must be my high threshold for pain) I did however try to hustle some pain med's from Doctor D (the cool, Haitian country man) but he just laughed said I wouldn't need them. I guess most folk out in the country are pretty laid back like him, he cussed a few times and blasted his Creole Jams during the procedure.

Now I have an awesome scar to look forward to, good thing it's below my eyebrow. I have a purple, black, and greenish tint to my eye which showed up the next day and has been subsiding so there's been a lot of concerned looks at work (it isn't the first time either they still remember my paintball gun wounds) What can I say I bruise easily! Next time I'll be extra careful when handling my guns but some roses would have been nice too

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Hyperhidrosis or just nerves?

A few weeks ago Josh and I were ambushed after leaving the bishop's office from our initial interview with him and we were asked to give talks. Josh was terrified as he tentatively said yes and gave me a look of panic. I assured him all would be okay and gave him a sweet smile. He tried to make a deal..."One talk should last me for at least a few years, right?" lol I think we are safe for at least a year.

Nothing stopped him from freaking out during the weeks leading up to the talks. I kept reminding him often to work on his talk and his usual response was, "I'll think about it" (it's actually what he says each time he doesn't want to say yes but will eventually do what I say). He's a stubborn man but he knows what's good for him :)

Josh is also a procrastinator and in the final hours of Saturday night Josh finally sat down and tried to put into words what he had been thinking for the past weeks. That Sunday morning he awoke and the first thing he asked me was for his talk, pen and paper. He practiced all morning very loudly and in front of the mirror. At first I thought it was some crazy man outside talking and laughing all loud but nope it was my hubby.

If you all remember my earlier posts about his sweaty condition well it only worsened Sunday morning. His hands were sweaty and cold while his knee shook uncontrollably as we waited for our turn to speak. As long as he kept his eyes on the ground his heart would slow down but when he would look up at the audience his heart pounded harder and faster.

He did an amazing job, even with the little time I left him with to speak. (I always forget to watch the clock). It was his very first talk and even with sweaty palms, quivering hands, and a racing heart he did a great job. I am so proud of him and thankful for him.

Maybe one day we will find a cure for his excessive sweat glands (we've tried a few) but for now it's cute and I don't mind his wet hands!        

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

On Cheap Mode by Force

My husband is a wonderful man. Among his many great qualities lies a middle-of-the-road attribute which drives our little family towards greater things it's called: Cheap Ace (excuse my language).

Yes, being a girl I did spend waaaay to much money on clothes, shoes, purses, mani's and pedi's, make-up etc. In Dolly Parton's famous words "It takes effort to look like this!" So when we started dating I toned it down and started saving or rather putting that money towards the wedding. Now however I am putting that money towards debt and bills. Luckily with his "Snowball Plan" we will be completely out of debt (student loans, cars paid off) and in a lovely home by August of next year.

The light at the end of the tunnel seems ominously dim for me and I cry thinking about all the things I could have right now while forgetting the amazing things I could have later if I just sacrifice now. So when my parents made a joke about me not having my nails done (I did however get a pedi) for my cousins wedding on Friday it got Josh thinking....It's never good when either one of us is thinking!

We went grocery shopping later that weekend and as a treat Josh told me he would splurge on me a bit and buy me some pretty nail polish and that HE would paint my nails as an FHE activity. I thought he was being super sweet so I indulged. We bought this beautiful coral color that would look great against my tan skin. It wasn't until a few days later that we realized we had left the polish at the store. Sadly, I thought well maybe a hot pink will do (the only color in my cupboard anyways I hardly ever buy nail polish nor do I store it. I mean why would I? Elite Nail Salon keeps great colors and they do a way better job than me lol).

Josh agreed to use the pink. He did horribly great! There was nail polish all around the corners and on my cuticles. Men think it's like painting a wall or something. They're called brush strokes my dear. As I'm giggling about his work he asks, "Do the Asian woman use these same brushes?" He then added, "Well now you can just give me the 30 bucks you spend on getting your nails done!"

AH-HA!!! There it was! The catch...Cheap Mode on Blast. Besides being semi-nice he had alterior motives for painting my nails. Needless to say I require my girl-time, the massage, trimming, filing, and perfect brush strokes when it comes to my nails. I will continue to visit the nail salon even though I am on a budget of $30 bucks a month, next month I will definitely do a mani rather than pedi.

I thoroughly enjoyed watching X-Factor while Hubby did my nails. Great quality time together. :) He did try and clean up the surrounding areas. Not bad for a first-timer. (It's like a Mona Lisa...far away it's a beautiful masterpiece but up close it's a horrible disaster)

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Return Policy

What a God given gift the national chains of America bring to each of us! A return policy can be found on any receipt, some employees will give you a 15 second explanation if you've never heard it before, and sometimes it looks like small print hidden in mischievious places in a contract.

Have you ever tried to return something? Wal-Mart could care less if you bring back the object half broken they know you will come back and spend more money later. One time Hubby and I spent 2 hours at Wal-Mart returning a microwave with no receipt, no box, and no recollection of when we bought it. XXI will only take back clothing with a receipt within 30 days or you get a gift card when all you really wanted was CASH. Who made up these stupid rules anyways?

Last night, Hubby and I figured out that we are more than lucky to have a 14-day return on our guinea pigs. As we sat in bed watching a recorded X Factor while playing with Minx and Cheeky we realized Hubby's efforts to ease me into pet ownership was a total EPIC FAIL! Or maybe Cheeky is depressed because we chose the wrong buddy for her as so demonstrated by her lack of enthusiasm in EVERYTHING! Hubby asked me if I wanted to exchange her for maybe a more lively playmate and my first thought was Oh's my chance to escape. Do I take it and run or just suck it up?

I'm totally running, like the wind during a hurricane in the Carribean! Hubby was saddened by my missed love connection with the small animals. I may not have that gene and he may just have to deal with that his whole life. Heck! He has enough of that gene for the both of us! To soften the blow Hubby added, "Well I guess it's a good thing since we won't have anyone to take care of them and feed them during the holidays when we are gone". My response in a soft monotone voice trying to hide my joy, "Yeah, that's right". We are impulse buyers by nature and Minx and Cheeky were impulsive decisions.

This got me thinking...what if Hubby and I bring children into this world and it's not what I imagine? There is NO RETURN POLICY and what you get instead are sleepless nights, cranky mornings, poopy diapers, vomit on your favorite shirt, loud obnoxious crying, a husband that seems to go deaf at night, and so much more. It is a 24/7/365/∞ <--- That's not very comforting although I'm sure the "Mommys" will tell me that the good outweighs the bad it hovers gloomily over my head. I really shouldn't be tossing this anxiety around in my head anyways, it won't be for another two years that Hubby and I have children. I guess I feel like to fit in with all the other married couples at church we need the one accessory they all possess: child(ren). Maybe it's the fact that I am turning 25 in a month which brings on a whole new level of emotions.

Or maybe I'm just not a pet lover/enthusiast and even though I tried for a split second for Hubby's sake it's just not gonna happen.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Adding to the Family

DON'T get excited people...I'm NOT pregnant! However, Josh and I bought 2 baby girl guinea pigs over the weekend. It came about one bored Saturday afternoon...We had left Wal-Mart finished with all of our errands and decided to browse some other stores. He wanted to go into Petco first and I agreed thinking we might just look around. His real reasoning for taking me there was to buy me any type of pet, anything to soften my heart towards animals. He teased me telling me he might buy me a turtle and call it even for my birthday and Christmas. (YEAH RIGHT! haha). So we came in and then I saw this big fat guinea pig just laying there all alone. Before I could even look over to Josh he was already drooling over the glass asking if he could hold the big guy. The saleswoman started to jingle her keys to open the glass and the guinea pig instantly knew to run over to the opening eager for someone to hold him. He had been the last of them mainly and according to the saleswoman he was a stinker...quite the brat. However, she offered an alternative, she had received a new shipment earlier that day and asked if we wanted to hold those instead. Of course we said yes but felt bad that the "stinker" slowly made his way back to his corner looking sad...another disappointment!

We got to hold two little girls about 3 months old and we fell in love. I got the short haired, black, brown, and white one while Josh elected the long haired brown and white furrball. We got home and let them loose in the apartment while Scuffy sniffed around trying to make heads or tails of it. He made tails of it....he was not happy about the matter. Josh named his little one Minx which seems to fit perfectly. She is a ball of energy, curious about every nook and cranny, she ran around crazily looking for trouble. Minx is truly Josh's little girl, those two are so alike (if you've ever witnessed Josh with too much energy lol). He's even trying to teach her how to be his "Shoulder Buddy" she sits on his shoulder and watches him to hw on the computer (It's super sweet). Cheeky on the other hand is clam, reserved, she's a lady and she loves to cuddle. So for now we are enjoying our new furry friends and we love it.

BTW-They don't smell. I make sure of it. I can't stand smelly homes especially due to pets.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Potty Training

No one ever told me until now but apparently I sit incorrectly on the toilet. As you can see from the picture above I have been doing it for quite some time. Josh has corrected me in the "Right Way" of sitting on a toilet. Most people sit facing straight (usually holding some type of reading material) but not me. I sit slanted, to one side usually with my elbows on knees and hands holding my face (unless something else is in my hands). Josh laughs every time he gets to witness it (which isn't too often it's still weird doing my business in front of a male). He tells me I look like I'm slouched ready to watch TV on the sofa rather than take a dump!

Josh enjoys his time on the Big Throne, so much so that he has particular practices to make this daily occurrence run smoother and efficiently. I won't go into the gory details or I might lose quite a few readers but he has instructed me and still I refuse.

For me sitting on the toilet has always been a chore. I hate having to take the time to just sit on the toilet. To help pass the time I will sometimes do one or more of the following: (my old roommates can attest to it)

Brushing my teeth
Browsing through FB
Talking on the phone
Brushing my hair
Putting on make-up
Reading a book or magazine (but who doesn't?)

Obviously back when I was first being potty trained my multitasking involved destroying the toilet paper. So I guess what I've learned is that Josh will have to handle all of the potty training with our children. (YES! You can imagine me jumping in the air with my hands balled up in fists as I enjoy my victory).

Thursday, August 30, 2012

30 Days of Marriage

When I looked up synonyms for Marriage this is what came up:

alliance, amalgamation, association, confederation, conjugality, connubiality, consortium, coupling, espousal, holy matrimony, link, match, mating, matrimony, merger, monogamy, nuptials, pledging, sacrament, spousal, tie, tie that binds, wedded bliss, wedded state, wedding bells, wedding ceremony, wedlock
I laughed at most of these. So when people at the office ask me "So how's the first month of marriage?" I get this blank stare on my face and say "It's an adjusment" with a weak smile on my face. OKAY that's an exaggeration!! I do say that it's an adjustment I mean who thought living with a man would be so difficult at times and yet so rewarding.

We are currently "adjusting" to each other. There's that word again. Which means become or make prepared. So what exactly are we preparing for? War? Children? Life? In-Laws? Money? Jobs? Sickness? I guess mostly life and what it brings each day. So although we are "preparing" ourselves to live with each other every day for the rest of our lives (otherwise eternity), the heaviness of the topic still rings lightheartedly in my mind as I think of all the joy it brings me.

The other day Josh and I were looking for a dress for me to wear to my cousin's wedding this weekend. Now if y'all know Josh you know he ABHORS spending money (he's cheap lol). So as I was trying on a few dresses (which by the way I NEVER look at price tags) he takes off and comes back with a bag in his hand. Not sure what he had picked up but he tells me the dress I'm wearing is gorgeous on me as he surveys every angle. He then pulls out a pink box with these beautiful studded dangling earrings and a necklace to match which is glittering bright making my face pink with excitement. The mere fact that he went and made the effort to pick something out and buy it for me just said so much without saying anything.

Some men will spend money on women and it's not a big deal to them. It's almost a chore because it's what you're supposed to do but when Josh spends money on me I know he really cares to sacrifice the devil on his shoulder telling him "Josh you don't need that, it's unneccessary! Why would you buy it you already have what you need at home. Who cares if there's holes in it and it's a different color than what it was when you bought it. You don't need a new one!" It's a struggle for him to allow indulgences but when he spoils me he goes all out! Not just monetarily but physically, spiritually, and mentally. It makes me feel like the Queen he says I am. I love you sweetie...

*Anxiously awaiting the next 30 days plus infinity*

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Married Woman

Life could not get any better at this moment! I am an over joyed and thrilled married woman!

The weeks leading up to the actual wedding were a little stressful. Josh and I were constantly bickering (Satan was trying his best but he did not win) and all of the last minute details seemed to keep pilling up.

Today's post is going to be more of an overview of what it's like to be married.

Let's begin with the dislikes:

1. I haven't come across any yet in my 13 days of marriage....maybe it takes a little while longer for bad habits to come forth?


1. Waking up next to my hubby (that includes morning breath and kisses)
2. Having the option of doing everything together (personally I like watching tv and eating dinner with him as well as showering together ;)
3. Praying together at night and before each meal
4. Intimacy is a given but marriage just takes it to a whole new level
5. Trying to fit "my husband" in every conversation I can with strangers
6. Having a "Mr. Fix It" around the house (we came home from our honeymoon and our closet was falling apart all of my clothes were on the floor and so were his...#thankgoodnessforhiscovetedtools)
7. Getting mail addressed to Challis Family
8. Paying bills (do they get smaller with two incomes or does it seem to multiply?)
9. He hates washing dishes and I love it.... I hate taking the garbage out so he takes care of it. (I heard compromise goes out the window after 6 months)
10. Being with my best friend, husband, and lover everyday and knowing it will be for eternity #bestfeelingeverperiod.

Things are still a little chaotic at the apartment we have yet to unpack a few things and I still have unopened gifts at my parents home in Houston. Once things die down a bit I will continue to fill yall in on the details of the last two weeks or so of my life.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Challis vs. Orantes

It's no surprise that my father has had a little tantrum here or there during the engagement. I am the eldest of his children (he never even wanted anymore children, the other 4 came due to my mother's insisting), I am daddy's little girl (always have been), and I am one of his best friends. I can talk to my father about anything, always have been able to because he made sure our relationship consisted of trust, communication, and honesty (well mostly on his part..I did lie a few times sorry dad!).

These last few days my upcoming wedding has really been weighing heavily on his mind. I can tell because of what his phone calls and texts consist of...let me clear the air there is no discouragement but rather sadness in his tone. It's tough, this transition for all of us, but for Dad it's quite more. He has always been the constant man in my life. Why just the day before yesterday he called to remind me that I had broken my promise to him. As a little girl I promised Daddy I would marry him someday (I'm marrying someone close enough to his personality that should count for something!) He also texts me to remind me that in a few days I will be losing my freedom completely and that my entire life will change but he does suggest I don't get fat and just try and take it day by day (Maybe that's little girls ask their moms for advice). I try and comfort him and tell him when he is old I will take care of him and I will always be his firstborn but that now I have to create my own family.

Now my intent on writing this post was to explain that my father hit a ridiculous level of emotional attachment. He called me a few days ago to ask me if I was going to keep his last name claiming the Challis name was not as great as Orantes (he did laugh as he said it but with a serious tone he continued). "Why can't he take your last name?" I guess my father forgot he has two sons who will carry on the Orantes name and Josh is the last male Challis so I must produce some males or it dies after this generation. Maybe my father realizes I will actually achieve my goals and become a well-known writer but it will be the surname Challis by which the world shall know me and not Orantes. Maybe he just wants to know he still has some influence in my life. Or maybe he doesn't want to lose his spot in my life. Whatever the reason I just laughed it off and told him I love the name Challis and I'm leaving behind Orantes. He tried to bargain a little by asking me to keep it as a middle name but that didn't work either.

I love you daddy but this little girl is now a woman. Thank you for everything you have taught me, given me, or bought me. But Father now I must become Melissa Zushell Challis. 08/03/12.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

My Minor Meltdown

As I was sitting at work yesterday morning looking at my calendar I had the bright idea of counting the days I had left until I marry Josh. BAD IDEA! As I made my way closer to the day I realized the days were getting smaller and smaller. When I first began this blog I had about 100 days left and now I have about 22 days left until my wedding day. Sadly enough I started to almost hyperventilate! There wasn't enough oxygen in the room and I started to get a little dizzy. I thought Wow so this is what this is like, never having experienced it before it was quite a disgusting feeling to say the least. And before I could have a complete meltdown in front of everyone at the office I took a few deep breaths to calm myself and I tried to think of the reasons why I couldn't breathe.

1. I'm getting married in 22 days!
2. I am going to be a wife
3. I have to cook and clean for this man (I avoid the kitchen like the plague)
4. We are going to be a family
5. We are going to have a lot of bills

As the thoughts entered my mind, I figured well at least my list didn't consist of regrets, missing out on life, or being chained to one man forever. I'm not scared of living the rest of my life wih Josh. I love him more and more everyday. He is the perfect man for me. And I am the best version of me when I am with him. My small panic attack was due to the huge journey I am about to embark, with no map or guidebook we will begin our family and learn by trial and error. It is a big step in my life, but knowing Josh is at my side comforts me and the vision I have for our future together. They always say if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans. Well God has a sense of humor so I have accepted that my life will be full of joy, tears, achievements, sorrows, success, pains, and much more but I have Josh to help me through and with our faith in God we can make it through anything.

I am so thankful I have such a great family and am about to join another great family who loves us and supports us and SHOCKER we all get along! (I hope it continues that way...I guess everyone's on their best behavior at first but for first impressions it was a success).

Life is all about choices, we choose to love or hate; we choose to speak or listen; and we choose to live or die. I have decided to get married and I have chosen to enjoy it with all it's marvels and downfalls.

So in the lovely words of Frobert Frost I hope I too can take the road less traveled in life so that one day I may look back and think "And that has made all the difference".

Monday, July 9, 2012

What's in a Name?,,,, the list goes on and on. Why, Google has hundreds of pages with links to pages that offer names and meanings for names their origin and popularity or just different spellings. As a young girl I thought of what names I could give my future children. I wondered will that sound good as I'm yelling at them from the bottom of the stairs? I put a lot of thought into it and even wrote down a few names in a journal but every few years those names would change. Now that those future children are actually a possiblity Josh and I take every chance we get to think of names we both love for these future rugrats.

The first time we came across this conversation it was probably a few weeks into our courtship. Oddly enough we both love the name Drake. Something I had already decided a while back, so when he told me he liked the name as well it was like finding gold! We both agree we want our children to have unique and strong names. Josh's definition of unique includes "straight from left field-hit you on the head-while you're scratchin it" which means I have to tell him NO when he thinks up of those. His love of all-things-Greek and Roman led me to suggest Alexander as the middle name and he loved it. I secretly chose it because it's my father's middle name as well (a new tradition in my family, both of my brothers share my father's middle name).

We seem to come up with more names for boys instead of girls. Secretly we hope we only have 1 girl. I read online somewhere (so take this at face value) "Attractive people are more likely to have daughters". I texted Josh that and he just laughed and welcomed any challenges. Of course I don't believe it but I do pray we have one baby girl to help soften Josh's heart. A little girl can melt her daddy's heart and change him in ways impossible for anyone else. My father went through his transformation and I have a feeling Josh has a sense of it too but he won't understand it until he is holding her in his arms. With that said we don't have a name for this heartbreaker just yet but we do know her middle name will be Beverly just like her paternal grandmother.

Names can mean very many different things. My name for example means Honeybee. It is of Greek origin. Does that define the person I am? Sometimes we fit our names or our names fit us. Joshua is a rendering of the Hebrew language "Yahoshua" meaning "Yahweh is salvation". It does have more of a bliblical origin and many different meanings as it is translated in Aramaic, Greek, Latin, and even some Slavic languages. The naming of our children is important for they will be known to the world as either Gunner or Richard, Ashley or Penelope. Who decides your future: You or your name?

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Like Father, Like Son

Josh's biological father, Robert, was not very involved in his life. It's a sensitive issue with him that usually brings up feelings of resentment and sadness. It's a relationship foreign to me because I am very close to my father, whom I refuse to call anything but "Daddy" (something that seems to irk Josh like nails to a chalkboard). I attribute his disdain to the word "Daddy" to his lack of having one growing up.

However, Josh is nothing like his father and he will never be because Josh learned what not to do as a husband, father, son and friend. So maybe his father did teach him a few good things. It's just one more similarity between Josh and Alex (my dad). When I first started dating Josh I noticed it immediately, let me be more specific:

  • They both have similar upbringings
    • Absent parents
    • Bascially living on their own
    • Joined the church at 18 year of age
  • Mentality
    • Great work ethic
    • Constant Drive
    • High Confidence
  • FARTING (it's a constant issue but an easy transition)
  • Clothing
    • Similar taste (they usually match "TWINS"...looks funny since Josh is so much taller)
  • Dependable
  • Funny (my dad is a story-teller and Josh is developing his talent but he still enjoys telling a funny joke or story)
  • "I'm're wrong"
    • Both of them like to take up two lanes while driving and when I remind them to pick a lane their almost exact response is somewhere along the lines of "I pay for these streets, I can use both lanes if I want"
The list goes on and on and so I fear Freud was correct. Woman do marry their fathers (I always did tell my dad as a young child that I would marry him someday). As weird as that may sound... it's comforting to let go of my father, someone I completely trust, love and can depend on, to hold on to my husband, a man I completely trust, love, and can depend on.

Now Josh will have a Father he never had and my dad will have the blue-eyed son he never had!

Monday, June 18, 2012

Mother-in-Law not a Monster

This past weekend Josh and I drove up to a town outside of Tulsa to visit his (maternal) Grandpa Hank and to meet up with his mom Beverly (which I have already shortened to Bev) to celebrate Father's Day. Bev and I met on Skype about two weeks into my relationship with Josh but talking through a computer is a completely different feel as opposed to in person. I liked her then and she seemed to like me too still I was nervous the whole drive up to Oklahoma and Josh had a tough morning at work which made the trip a little tense.

When we finally got to his grandpa's house Josh kissed me sweetly and firmly, looked me in the eyes and tried to soften the mood and release any stress I had built up over the past few hours. It worked! We walked up to the door hand-in-hand and he knocked on the door. I could hear Bev as she approached us talking loudly and finally there she was, in the flesh! After her long tight hug with Josh she turned to me and did the same. It felt almost like hugging a long lost relative, there was so much love and tenderness, I had to fight back all the emotions so as to not break down.

Lucky for me I passed the initial test and it seemed like his mom liked me in person as well. We talked and talked and talked probably too much for Josh's liking but it was nice to be able to have such a smooth flow of conversation with her. Her openness made it easy to be honest and allow my emotions to be expressed. She has this wonderful laugh that rolls into two other types of laughs at the same time. There is an enthusiasm in her voice that gives off energy to those around her and keeps people wanting to stick around. We got to sleep in the same bed (which included some pillow talk Josh will never know about!) and that was an adventure all in itself. What I enjoyed the most was the simple fact that we could sit on the couch relax and just enjoy each other's company without there being an awkward silence. It was a blessing to know that we could get along so well from the get go. Bev has a part of her that my mother never could express but now I understand I had to wait for Josh to come into my life to enjoy two wonderful mothers for the rest of my life.

Josh's Grandfather Hank is just as interesting as his daughter Bev. He is strong and handsome at 70 years of age. He carries around Lexus his new puppy weiner dog (I get the feeling he's ready for great grandchildren). His passion for politics is astounding to hear about due to his experience with this country as a military man in the Air Force, seeing Nixon in office, and working back when minimum wage was just $3.25. His view on life is rewarding to hear about. His love for classic cars surpasses his dog which says a lot(he has a 1940's Ford Sedan sitting in his garage with hundreds of trophies lining the walls from car shows). He is light on his feet and words. A funny man who enjoys a joke or two (even dirty ones sometimes). His devoted companion Arlene is nothing short of a wife although she does not carry the title. Her beauty is sweet and soft. A good combination for Hank, but she also has her feisty side (no doubt repercussions from being in the military reserves, riding motorcycles with Hank, and being the "handy-man" around the house). A gracious couple whom I enjoyed and am excited to get to know even better.

I learned a lot about Josh and his family this week which only strengthens my love for him and my new family. It was a great time for us as we continue to mold our families together. This is a start of something rarely beautiful: two families instantly chained together willingly with a smile.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

"Livin' on a Prayer" (Bon Jovi)

We are halfway there. Just 50 more days until Josh and I are married. It got me thinking and the song "Livin' on a Prayer" popped into my head. It has taken us a lot to get to where we are individually and together. It hasn't all been roses and chocolates (which BTW I'm not a fan of). There have been some ups and downs but I wouldn't have it any other way. Our paths converging into one requires some adjustments.

The chorus of the song goes:

We're halfway there
Livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it- I swear
Living on a prayer

My favorite part is the part just before the chorus when he sings:

She says we've got to hold on to what we've got
Cause it doesn't make a difference
If we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot
For love- we'll give it a shot

I know this life cannot be lived looking through rose colored glasses. Harder times will come but I am prepared to fight and make it through. There isn't any other person I could see myself loving, fighting with, raising children, laughing and crying with, and growing old together. Josh is my one and only.

Halfway there and I am more excited than ever. Elated to see how our love will grow and morph into something I can't even imagine could exist at this point.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Treasure Hunting in the Rain

A few weeks ago, Josh and I decided to go apartment searching. We decided we would exhaust our options and think about it before signing anything. (If you've ever watched the movie "What to Expect when your Expecting", all I could think about was the quote by one of the guys, "If you're looking for a house, you're buying a house" no such thing as just looking for women). Josh only had Tuesday off and I worked Saturday morning the weekend before so that I could take off Tuesday during the week. So the day came and with it Mother Nature decided to drop by as well. Not to gross out any of my male readers but you can probably understand me when I say it was like a murder scene and I was in complete and utter pain. But even tears could not keep me from looking for a new place for Josh and I to begin our lives together so in the words of my sister Johamy, "Suck it" is what I did.

The morning started off slowly and each place we came to was either too pricey for Josh or too ghetto for me. We had already made a list of MUST HAVES.

1. Large walk-in closet (my #1 of course)
2. Pets allowed (his #1 of course)
3. Gated community
4. W/D connections
5. Pool and hot tub
6. 2 bed 2 bath
7. Open kitchen
8. Garden tubs
9. Euless or Bedford area
10. Fit the budget

Needless to say it's a lot harder to get two people to agree which led us to a lot of driving and looking at apartments which lasted about 7-8 hours. I was NOT a happy camper and yet Josh was as kind and loving as ever. He made sure to hold my hand lightly which made me feel wanted and loved. At one point (probably 4 hours in) we walked into an apartment and Josh asked me for the umteenth time what I thought of the place, of course my usual reply was "eh it's ok". His look of frustration following his response, "you've said that about every place!" made me lash out at him. That's when my double reared it's ugly face (she comes out to play once in a while). I told him every little thing that was wrong with it! He was happy with the price so he happened to overlook the important things like the small cramped kitchen which I already hate being inside of, the small closet space, the disgusting smell, and the lack of light. The list went on and on to which he responded, "You need food don't you babe?" A small smile appeared on my face. He took my hand once again and took me to Subway which really did make me feel a little better at least get me through another few hours.

The very last place we came to was this quaint little Cottage-looking apartment complex with a river running through it.  It looked promising but when we entered the apartment it actually exceeded our expectations. It had about 80% of our must have's and we both liked it. Of course, I fell in love right when I saw the 5 foot deep walk-in closet!!! It was perfect for us. So we signed a lease and will be residents of Bedford, Texas for nine months after we get married. So even though we had less than perfect weather (refering to my attitude) we found our first abode together a treasure all in itself.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Scuffy not so fluffy anymore

                                               (DISCLAIMER: I AM NO FAN OF PETS). 

This is my soon to be step-child Scuffy. He is adored by Josh in many ways for many years now. He has been there for Josh through the thick and thin. When I met Scuffy he was about twice the size he is now because Josh wasn't around as often, it seems Scuffy got a little depressed and lost some weight.

Naturally Scuffy was not my biggest fan. Who would be after I stole their complete affection and time from them? Anytime I was over at Josh's apartment Scuffy would give me evil eyes and would ignore me until Josh was sitting next to me. Obviously Scuffy would only come near me if Josh was there as well because Scuffy craved only Josh's attention. 

A few days ago Scuffy moved into my apartment on strict orders from Josh. Basically I was to learn to love this animal before we all moved in together (which BTW we get married in 60 days exactly!!!) So I caved and I took him in out of my love for Josh. During Scuffy's first few days he moped around, a bit nervous about the new environment and owner. (Scuffy must have sensed my plot to get rid of him, I'm pretty sure he heard the words poison and discard in the same sentence a time or two).  JK ;)

Like any child he pushed his boundaries. First little things like jumping up on the furniture, scratching the leather couches, etc. I was a little nervous about the situation and I quickly went into "Mom" mode. However, one day he decided to be extra bold and push the limits far beyond the boundaries. I was cooking dinner when I heard him shuffling in his poop box (looked like he was trying to cover it up in there) when all of a sudden I turn around and he was taking a dump on my living room floor!!!! I was livid to say the least. I started yelling at him, "SCUFFY WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING??" He was alarmed as he scurried through my living room and dinning room and into my bedroom with poop attached to his behind. I continued yelling as he began scooting his butt across my bedroom floor and then he ran under my bed to hide in shame.

As I searched for the poop. I prayed and hoped it wasn't under my bed or smashed across my floor. Yet to my great surprise it was on the wall of my dinning room. How the heck it got there I have no idea. Maybe he was aiming for his poop box but he was off about a foot or so! I was NOT happy. Y'all are probably laughing right about now and looking back someday I may laugh as well but not today. I locked him in the room for about 30 minutes as a time-out, even with him scratching at the door and meowing I stood firm until I was ready for him to come out. When he came out from under the bed his approach towards me was subtle and his meows resembled an apology. He brushed up against me in an attempt to settle the score and call a truce. And that was it.

Needless to say he is better behaved now and he tries to make it up to me each night by cuddling with me and allowing me to hug him through the night (something he has only allowed Josh to do a few times). We are much more patient with each other and a soft spot is starting to form in the corner of my heart for him. The rest of my heart belongs to Josh so there's little room for Scuffy anyways but it's the effort that counts. 

Thursday, May 31, 2012

A Pejorative Term for a Significant Other

We left my parents home full of mixed emotions trying to process everything that had just happened. My mind flooded with thoughts...Did he like my family? Was he comfortable? Could he tell we were talking about him? Will he stay? What now?

He started the car and slid his right hand into mine as usual. I looked over to him and he smiled, "I like your family baby which makes me like you even more." And that was it! All of my fears and doubts left my mind and I was at ease except for the fact that a ring was still not on my left hand! I pushed the thought away and accepted that he would ask me on his own time. However, I did mention he better not ask too late because I needed time to plan. His response made it seem like he would make me wait at least a month or so before even thinking about asking me. Forty-five minutes into the trip we were driving we came across the Sam Houston statue and Josh asked to stop to take some pictures. A few wrong turns (which happens often) and he finally ended up in the parking lot. Into the woods we went to stand by the 100 foot statue of our state hero Sam Houston.

Josh looked like an ant next to the statue. I couldn't help but feel like the luckiest girl in the world, just being next to him made me feel whole. We took turns taking pictures of each other. As we started our way back to the car Josh pulled me to the side and we sat down on a wooden table to enjoy nature a bit more. He missed so much the sound of trees whistling in the wind, I could tell he was absorbing the smell of the ground holding on to it before we entered the city again. A reminder of his hometown in Arizona, Josh felt at home in the midst of those giant trees. Some flowers caught our attention and we decided to take some pictures. We began talking about the weekend and how great it had turned out. His hands a bit sweaty were around my back and neck as I hugged his waist. His soft lips graced my forehead as I inhaled his scent. "Well now that I've asked your dad I guess all I have left to do is ask you to marry me huh?" he slyly stated. I pushed him away from me as I rolled my eyes turning around to leave back to the car. That is the last thing I wanted to hear, especially since he told me he was planning on making me wait a month or so for it to be a surprise.

He pulled my left hand back towards him as he kneeled on the ground and said, "So now would be a good time, right?" I COULD NOT BELIEVE MY EYES. I wasn't sure whether to cry, laugh, slap him, or run away. Was he being serious? Should I cry? I was motionless for a few moments (or what seemed like an eternity)...too long for him because he shoved the ring on my finger as I finally was able to force my head to move up and down. He jumped up and hugged me which made me burst into tears. Finally my lips were able to say yes over and over again. We just stood there hugging and laughing, mostly me just crying (tears of happiness of course). I couldn't believe it!! It was official and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Only six weeks of dating and we chose to spend the rest of our lives and eternity together. It felt right. Like two puzzle pieces finally coming together, after all the wrong ones, to complete the picture.

You should hear his side of this story....

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Apparently ankles can sweat

Fast forward about six weeks into our relationship, it was finally time for Josh to meet my family. We took off Friday afternoon to Houston quite exhilarated for what lay ahead. I had never brought a boyfriend home to my parents so they knew it was pretty serious and I was a bit nervous. We already had plans to visit the Houston Livestock show and Rodeo and were especially excited to see Brad Paisley sing. I was hoping that sometime during the visit Josh would talk to my father about getting his blessing to ask for my hand in marriage. I had no way of even imagining what was to happen the next few days....

We had pupusas that night, and of course Josh loved them (now we eat pupusas like once a week, he even craves them). I could tell he was a bit nervous by his sweat soaked hands because most of the attention was on him. I was really happy my cousin Prissy and her parents were there to keep the awkward moments from happening. Crisis averted! My parents liked him from the very beginning. Josh was articulate, kind, respectful, tall, and a blue-eyed handsome man. I was mostly surprised by my dad's receptiveness. We all laughed and talked for a couple of hours until our eyes betrayed us and we said good night.

Saturday was a fun-filled day. There were cows, sheep, horses, chicks hatching, boots and just about every cowboy east of the Mississippi there to show off their skills. It was quite the experience for Josh. He got to experience some real Texas pride up close and personal. The Brad Paisley concert was amazing!!! I had already prepped Josh before we came by having him listen to every song and he even tried learning some of the songs. The day went on and I kept trying to convince myself that Josh had snuck in the conversation with my dad and would ask me to be his future wife any minute during Brad Paisley's "I thought I loved you then" song. To my short-lived disappointment it didn't happen.

Sunday we had family over for fajitas. Josh was completely overwhelmed with all the family that showed up. To me, of course, it was just a normal gathering yet to him it felt like a family reunion. With Spanish words whizzing past him he sat there patiently and just smiled. I couldn't help but feel so much love for him as my family enveloped him and took him in as if he were already part of the family. Yet, a few hours later I was annoyed and I was getting impatient. Josh still had not talked to my dad and it was getting late. We were planning on leaving pretty soon and all Josh could do was pace around the first floor of my house. I was in the kitchen when Josh came up to me and said, "My ankles are sweating!!!" I couldn't stop laughing. I didn't even know that someone's ankles could sweat. I felt them for proof and sure enough there was a pool of water dripping down his ankles. I looked him square in the eyes and told him, "Suck it up, grab some courage and JUST DO IT!"

At last, he took my dad aside and they talked for about 45 minutes. I'm not too sure of what really went on in there. Josh claims my dad was calm and helpful. I can't help but wonder what those office walls would tell me if I asked. He got the OK and that's all that mattered. Now I just had to wait around until he asked...

Monday, May 21, 2012

A Birthday Celebration

February 1, 2012 marked a quarter of a century in Josh's timeline aka lifeline. FINALLY, I thought to myself...a guy who is older than me and sort of acts like it. I was freaking out all day thinking of what to feed him. I had already put my foot in my mouth by offering to cook dinner and then take him to play miniature golf. SHOCKER!!! He had never been in his life. (Note to self: he had no childhood). I left work early to begin my masterpiece. If any of you really know me, I don't like to cook. My pantry consisted of easy 5 minute dinners, frozen food, lots of cereal, and snacks. What was I thinking? Ok duh, I wanted to impress him. That was a big deal for me. Never in my life had I felt the desire to cook for a man especially on our 2nd date. I had previously stopped at the store during my lunch break to pick up a birthday card for him and even thought about buying a cake so he could blow out the candles. Lucky for him some admirer had already beat me to the punch earlier that morning so I skipped the cake.

The food was almost finished as he was knocking on the door around 6:30PM. I hugged him and wished him a happy birthday. The hug didn't last as long as I had hoped but I also didn't want my food to burn. We ate bite by bite as we conversed about our days. He complimented me on the taste and texture, especially on my rice. My stomach was churning! I just kept hoping he would swallow each piece just to apease me. The teriyaki chicken got a little cold but he still ate it all and for that I was grateful. Dinner was over and as I picked up the plates he opened his card. He called me sweet and chuckled as he read, "Feeling happy is like peeing in your pants only you can feel its warmth"

We left my apartment and as Josh opened the car door for me I remembered I had only brought with me my keys and cell phone. What an idiot! Now he surely thought I was a brat for making him pay on his birthday. I didn't say anything and neither did he when he paid for 2 balls and 2 golf clubs. We made a deal. Winner got 3 wishes. I was determined and focused. I had played a few months before on the same course and I thought I had it in the bag. He on the other hand was so nervous, so much so that he kept making excuses until he started making his shots. 40 holes and by the end of the night we had a friendly competition full of laughter, flirting, and Hole-n-One's (we each got at least one of those). I got better as the night flew by and he got worse! However, he still beat me.

He pretended to think about his first wish even though I could read it on his forehead and so he asked, "Did you let me win?" I carefully pondered his question. It was his birthday and his first time playing. I answered, "No." His hands flew in the air, he was bursting with joy while his tone converted to cockiness I allowed him to defend his win. A tender kiss goodbye left us anxious for the next.

We have a tentative rematch scheduled. And he still has 2 wishes left.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The First Date

I thought I was going to get to see Josh Monday night during FHE but I didn't because I had to work late which only enhanced my desire to see him again. Luckily Josh had already planned ahead! After he left my apartment Sunday night he had texted me and asked if I wanted to watch The Red Tails Tuesday night. I had nothing else going on and even if I had I would have canceled my plans in a heartbeat. So we had plans for our first official date on Tuesday, January 31. I was happy Josh was willing to forego the official "Guy Rule" of waiting 3-4 days before calling, etc. So I figured asking him back out for Wednesday night wouldn't be a problem especially since he was turning 25 that day.

Tuesday night finally came along after a long day at work. I came home and quickly got ready. To be late or not to be? I took a little extra time making sure each hair was in place. My clothes were carefully laid out as I fought between two outfits. Traffic was a little heavy and he was a few minutes late. I sprayed my neck and wrists with J'adore and covered my lips in Strawberry Frizz lip gloss. About a minute later there was a knock on my door. I jumped up and down for a second, smoothed out the creases in my shirt as I calmly breathed in an out towards the door. I unlocked the door slowly and as I opened it, there he stood as handsome as I remembered. He lifted his gaze towards me and gasped as he uttered with a smile on his face, "You look beautiful". I felt my cheeks warm up a bit, hoping he wouldn't notice I turned around to get my coat and purse. We took off in his white Corolla with the sun starting to set. Before going into the theatre we agreed on getting a box of Skittles. I really wanted some nachos but I was too nervous to ask or eat for that matter. We found some seats up at the top, a few rows above the only other couple in the theatre. Ohhh the benefits of coming on a Tuesday...

Our conversation had been flowing the entire night and I was thankful we were so comfortable around each other. My only concern was the end of the night!!! Kiss or no kiss? I always had a strict no-kissing-on-the-first-date policy and I thought it would be more special for our first kiss to be on his birthday. So the thought left my mind and we began to enjoy the movie. I opened the Skittles and he was kind enough to eat all of the sucky colors like purple and yellow. I only ate the orange ones. The movie was interesting but I couldn't keep my eyes from wandering over to him. Would he hold my hand? Is he going to try to kiss me tonight? I don't want this night to end!!! More than halfway into the movie he made his move! His back was against the chair and his hands held the sides of the arm rests. When slowly his hand slid right into mine which was on my lap. Our hands played with each other intertwined, our fingers caressing and swirling around. Just as I thought how surprisingly soft his hands were he whispered into my ear, "My hands used to have callouses on them back when I did man's work but now they're gone". I laughed a little inside...already we were beginning to sync.

My back began to hurt a little and I leaned forward as I put my hands under my chin. (Honestly I was hoping he would scratch my back a little). A few seconds later I felt a soft kiss on the back of my ear and as he inhaled my scent I slowly turned as we shared our first sweet kiss. His lips melted perfectly into mine. It wasn't sloppy or forceful. He captivated my lips perfectly and as he pulled away to look into my eyes he lingered a bit, his hand on my chin, slowly he made his way back to my mouth.

Don't worry we didn't miss the end of the movie I think someone dies??? :)

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Two Weeks Notice

Church had ended and already I was anxious to see Josh again. It was about 1:30 when I got home from church and he wasn't planning on coming over until 3:30. Glad I was given some time to clean and straighten up my apartment, still I could feel every part of me tingle with excitement as I counted down the minutes. I tried to eat a PB&J for lunch but I could hardly even finish half of it and so I waited. Then around 3PM my phone went off. *Text Message* It was from Josh: "Screw it. I'm done with math. I'm coming over! Where do you live?" My heart fluttered as I read the las few words. I gave him my address and 13 minutes later he was knocking on my door. I couldn't believe it! EVERYONE that came to visit me always got lost but he made it all the way to my door without asking for directions. Lucky for him the gate was open as well. There was something about his determination that intrigued me. The attention he gave me was flattering, of course any girl would enjoy it but somehow this time it was different. I felt like the only girl in his eyes. His beautiful baby blues shone out at me pulling me towards him like gravity. He didn't just see me...he saw right through me.

Trying to decide what movie to watch and not able to agree on anything we decided to run to the 7-11 and pick up a redbox movie. My choice ended up being depressing and a bit boring but halfway through the movie he put his arms around me and held me close which made up for it. The second movie was more entertaining, we both laughed the entire time and still he held me in his arms. I couldn't help but feeling safe and at ease. I felt at home within his strong grasp and I didn't want to leave. Our stomachs soon started growling at us and we figured it was time for some dinner. We had pizza that night. I'm sure we could have eaten more than one slice each but the butterflies in our stomachs hardly made any room for food. After the movie ended, we sat and talked for a few hours, like two old friends reminiscing. Even the few long silences weren't awkward and I wondered "Where had he been hiding for so long?"

And then he looked at me and timidly asked..."Um I was wondering well um I don't know if you have plans already or maybe someone's already asked....but I was wondering if you would ....well if you wanted to be my Valentine?" I could hear the strain in his voice as he tried to hide the shaky hesitation. His hands fidgeted with the bottom of his pants as he tried to keep steady eye contact. Inside I was smiling so big I thought I would burst into laughter right there in front of his face. My heart was big and full and he looked so cute as he nervously awaited my answer. "Yes", I replied. He let out a big sigh, "REALLY?" And then I couldn't hold it in any longer! I chuckled and asked, "Yeah, why? Do you not believe me?" A smile formed on his face and he answered, "I'm just happy you said yes is all." Later I came to find out he had never asked someone to formally be his Valentine it had always been a required holiday for him in the past. But this time he had chosen me.

Valentine's Day was in two weeks and I had a date! I was already thinking of what I could pull from my closet for the big day. He left my apartment a few minutes later with a hug and told me, "Make sure we see each other before then, two weeks is a long time!" It was a weird request, for in my mind that wasn't even an issue. I was going to find any excuse to be near him again.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Termination to my Sabbatical from Men

The night was coming to a close, the seconds ticking away and yet we refused to give in to our weary eyes. Josh continued texting me after we had parted ways around midnight or so. I got home and with all the butterflies still in my stomach I decided to stay up and watch TV a bit, while I ate some Crunch Berries cereal. It was about 2:30AM when we finally gave in and went to bed but not before Josh had offered his shoulder to me to sleep on during church services the next morning. I thought his eagerness to show me his sweet side to be adorable and endearing. I lay awake in bed overwhelmed with excitement and somehow dozed off but then what felt like an hour later, my alarm went off. I popped out of bed immediately (which rarely ever happens) to shower and get ready but not before noticing a "good morning beautiful" text from Josh. My head was swirling within seconds but I needed to focus. I had to pick up my friend, K, on the way to church and I had a presentation I had hardly practiced for and I didn't want to be late! Josh had already agreed to save me a seat next to him and I just hoped he would be wearing the same cologne from the night before. Already my nerves were unstable and I could feel my body streaming with waves of shock which made me tremble.

I picked up K and on the way to the church I got a little lost. I was anxiously trying to get there but every turn took me further away from the church. Finally when I had caught my mistakes I was back on the right road when a small dog ran into the middle of the street and collided with my car before I could react. I stopped and looked in my rearview mirror just in time to catch the dog chase it's tail like it was drunk and then it just collapsed on the ground. I couldn't believe it!!! "Did I kill it?" My eyes began to water and I could feel my heart just sinking. Never in all my life had I ever killed an animal on the road except little bugs on road trips but they deserved it! This poor pup was just running across the street to play with some kids and I had ended it's life. I felt horrible. The owner walked up to the dog, scooped it up and said, "Don't worry baby it ain't yo fault. This stupid dog always be runnin' into the streets, tryin' to play wit da kids." She walked away as if nothing had happened all the while I was mortified by her attitude. I got back into the car and I saw a text from Josh "Hurry up! Where are you? It's about to start and it's packed today." I responded "I killed a dog." He laughed not really believing my story.

When I got to the church he was there with an empty seat next to him. I walked over to him, as he looked me over, a big smile appeared on his face. "I can't believe you killed a dog! What's wrong with you?" he snickered. He gave me a hug and told me not to worry he also had an experience like that before. Of course it didn't make me feel any better so I tried to forget the accident. Fifteen minutes of being there and I was beginning to doze off. Josh scooted his chair closer to mine and offered me his shoulder, I looked up at him and smiled as I lay my head gently on his shoulder. As soon as our bodies touched our connection intensified once more. My eyes were closed but a smile curled up on my face. His sweet scent was alluring and I was put in a trance. I felt at ease next to him, like we had been doing this forever. It was easy to allow him near me almost like breathing and yet when I was near him I had difficulty allowing oxygen into my lungs.

Elise happened to be sitting behind me along with another two friends, Amber and Amanda, who noticed our "shameless flirting" tactics (or so they alleged). We liked each other and everyone in the room was well aware of it. Even the bold stares from a few people didn't keep us from enjoying each other's company. Whispers into each other's ears and grin's stretching ear to ear were continuous throughout the hour. My fingers traced the outlines of his firm back as I secretly wrote: I like you Josh. A LOT!!!

It was almost time to leave when Josh instantly turned to me with no hesitation:

J: Hey what are you doing today after church?
M: Nothing really.
J: I've got some math I have to work on for school but would it be alright if I come over and hang out afterwards?
M: Yeah, sounds good...

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Why don't we just dance?

So the plans were finalized after about 20 text messages later (probably an excuse to just text me). The plan was to meet up with some friends for dinner and then go to the dance. I went shopping that Saturday morning trying to find the perfect dress. I figured "Maybe I'll meet someone...". There was a black, strapless lace dress that came down to my knees that fit me perfectly, now all I needed were some tall heels and a cute cardigan to wear over it. As I was putting my outfit together, curling my hair, and putting on make-up (yes women are that talented). I couldn't help but think of who I would be slow dancing with. I knew there was going to be a lot of people there and I was eagerly fantasizing about all the possibilities. As I was leaving my apartment, the old man upstairs was walking to his apartment when he took one look at me and said "Whoa! Someone's getting lucky tonight!" I half smiled and hurried to my car half disgusted with his remark. I drove over to Elise's house to pick her up before meeting up with Josh. After changing her outfit a few times and fluffing her hair a bit we walked out of the house ready to dance the night away. We beat Josh to our meeting place (even though we were late and he lives 5 minutes away from the building). A few minutes later he appeared and I hopped in the front while Elise took the back. Taking the front seat proved worth the effort, I could tell he had taken the time to look his best. His hair was neatly trimmed, he had on a blue button up shirt (which made his blue eyes almost seem teal) with a black vest and a yellow striped tie. Not to mention his car was immaculate and smelled clean. He had a handsome smile on his face that made me feel warm and excited for the night.

The ride there was comfortable, hardly any silences (well with Josh and Elise monopolizing the conversation) followed by a few wrong turns. I tried to play co-pilot but was failing miserably so Josh moved his hand slowly in my direction to grab the phone in my hands but instead he lightly touched my hand which sent a spurt of energy through me. I think he felt it too because he laughed and made a joke about it. We got to the Mediterranean restaurant and Josh dropped us off at the front (he had already taken notice to my 5 inch heels) while he parked in the back. We got our food and we sat in front of each other. BAD IDEA. All throughout dinner he kept kicking me and stepping on my feet (he's 6'4 with hardly any leg room). It was the roughest "footsie" play I had ever experienced and truthfully I wanted to dig my 5 inch heels into his ankles! All in good fun of course. However, I didn't mind as much because the entire time we kept shooting each other flirty smiles, the kind of smile that you give someone with your eyes. Everything he said would make me giggle. I could sense his interest in me growing by the minute. "I had him in the palm of my hand...there was no turning back now!"

Finally we made it to the dance around 9ish. Josh had already made it very clear that it wasn't a date so we each danced with other people. Sometime during the dance he came over to me and whispered in my ear "Make sure you save me the next slow dance". Butterflies entered my stomach but I managed to respond, "Sure, come and find me". The next slow song was Lady in Red and just as promised he came over and whisked me onto the dance floor. His right hand lay just on the small of my back while he hugged me close, and all I could think about was the sweet smell of his cologne which enveloped my senses. I was intoxicated and could hardly keep my feet on pace. He twirled me around and pulled me in to give me a tight squeeze that turned into a few minutes of holding me as he explained "Let's see if that close connection thing works!" An earlier conversation during dinner had led us to the conclusion that due to the pheromones the body releases it could be possible to hug someone tight for a few minutes to establish a bond. Of course there was no objection on my part, I was willing to test out the theory.

I was a goner, I didn't even stand a chance! I was completely falling for him and I didn't even realize it. Like a sneak attack, he was stealthily robbing my heart. The Ice Queen had begun her transformation and there was no stopping it....        

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

The Ice Queen and the Lover Boy

The way Josh and I are around each other (lots of PDA) you would never guess our beginning....

Once upon a time...OKAY maybe not that far back but sometime back in September 2011 a red-headed Lover Boy moved into the Arlington YSA ward. He was wide-eyed and curious, excitedly looking for someone to love. He saw many pretty girls and gave each one a chance to woo his heart however he could not find the right one. All the while there was this Ice Queen, who was too preocupied with work, spending time with her sister, and ignoring men (including Lover Boy). One day Lover Boy took interest in the pretty Ice Queen yet to his dismay she paid him no mind. He thought "Psssht forget her then!" Time went on and still there was little interaction or interest on her part.

Then on November 3rd (DOB) the Ice Queen was at the mall with her sister Johamy shopping for a new outfit when she ran into none other than Lover Boy and Ileana (who happened to be the Ice Queen's friend and Visiting Teacher). Naturally the Lover Boy's interest was reignited as soon as he saw the Ice Queen but she didn't take notice in his flirty ways (she was also under the impression that he was dating Ileana). However, Johamy did notice and she immediately commented, "Melissa, he liiiiikes you! He's cute!!! You should date him. I like him." My response...."haha um no he's a red head and he's dating Ileana." He tried to make contact after the encounter but his efforts failed miserably.

Time went on and by the end of January 2012 there was a spark of hope again. At an FHE food activity, the Ice Queen happened to sit at a table right in front of Lover Boy. It wasn't long before Lover Boy started to melt the Ice Queen with his charm. All it took was a giggle and a look from her and Lover Boy knew that after all those doors being shut a window had finally cracked open. He took advantage of the opportunity and messaged the Ice Queen on FB a couple of days later....

LB: You going to the dance on Saturday?
IQ: Yes I am, if I can get Elise to go with me
LB: Text me. (his #)
IQ: Man you're demanding lol
LB: Lol it's not demanding! It's just being forward and not beating around the bush

Sufficeth to say we haven't stopped texting since that day....

Don't worry I won't leave ya'll hanging next up is.... Part II: The Dance

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Three, tres, tri and so on

Today is our 3 month anniversary. However, today is more special to me than Josh actually realizes. See 3 is my lucky number. I was born on the 3rd (a day he refuses to remember, he always thinks it's on the 2nd. I guess a day early is better than 2 days late like my father!). But yes, I've always had an obsession with the number 3. So the fact that he gave me 3 roses today makes me wonder....Was that on purpose?
Josh is a smart man but I sometimes wonder if he just gets lucky. To explain my obsession let me begin a list.
1. My favorite basketball player #3 Chris Paul.
2. My basketball jersey in middle school #33 (that gave me double luck)
3. Just because...
4. I'm a little OCD when it comes to symmetry. I like things to be in order. So most of the time everything has to end on an even number or appear even. However, 3 is the only thing in my life which defies my logic or craziness. (If you notice I will only post 6 reasons which is even and is twice the #3) 
5. The 3 Orantes girls...enough said.
6. The reoccuring theme of 3 in my Christian faith: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I knew very early on that I wanted Josh to be my eternal companion. We had so much in common. Instant chemistry. Great attraction. As time goes by...I realize my 3-Theory runs deeper than I thought and intertwines with Josh in perfect harmony. He is part Irish (the red hair should give it away!). Now the Shamrock (a 3-leafed clover) is a symbol of Ireland, and St. Patrick used it as a metaphor for the Christian Trinity. The Shamrock was traditionally used for medicinal purposes. Now we mostly see it as part of an emblem or advertisement for kids cereal (Lucky Charms!). Maybe I am digging too deep into it and I don't believe in soul mates or anything like that. However, I do believe the Lord has a plan for everyone and my path led to Josh because the Lord knows we have the potential to be great together to help further his work here on earth.

For now I am content knowing the #3 gives me luck....for I am the luckiest girl to have found a wonderful loving man like Josh.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Busy little bees

A text message "Ah-Ha moment". Josh aka Hubby and I realized that we are extremely busy with life. Every night we have SOMETHING to do. Now whether that's something simple like grocery shopping together (I refuse to shop by myself which usually leads to starvation), or going to a Ranger's game. Even though some nights feel like a rountine, for instance our Wednesdays: After work we go to this Salvadorian place for $1.00 Pupusas, which are AMAZING, and then we go to Institute to learn more about the Book of Mormon. Yet, we are able to enjoy those moments because we are together.

Although we have plans just about every night we still find time to enjoy ourselves. We both love to read which makes it easy to sit down and get lost in a world of magic where good always defeats evil. Josh will tell you that I ignore the world altogether which can be...well no... it's true but he doesn't mind at all which is an indicator to him of my future as a writer. I will most likely ignore the world and become consumed with my work until he pulls me out of my state of comatose with a sweet, tender kiss like he always does. 

 "For everything that lives is holy, life delights in life"- William Blake

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

100 days left...

Today marks the 100 more days of waiting until Josh and I have the grand pleasure and opportunity to be sealed to each other for time and all eternity. A truly special blessing for the both of us as our families, for we begin and continue our vines on the tree of life.

Most of our wedding planning has been completed. An awesome feeling for the both of us as we get to further enjoy each other instead of worrying about what color the flowers are going to be or what type of food we will be serving. We now count down the days anxiously awaiting our grand celebration with our families and friends.

Currently, Josh and I are reading a book called First Comes Love by Brinley and Ogletree which describes in about 13 chapters how to approach marriage. When our Bishop gave us the book he told us it would either send us running away from each other or into each others arms. Luckily for the both of us we ran directly into each others arms and have not let go nor do we intend to.

I've always enjoyed writing and hope to one day be a prolific writer among the creative non-fiction crowd however my lack of recent practice has driven Josh to push me in the right direction. I figure since I'm on the computer about 8-9 hours a day I figure this is the best way to get the practice I need with words to one day complete my work of art. A win-win situation for Josh and I, he doesn't lose any of his "quality time" with me and I get to write!

Life has been remarkably enjoyable this 2012 year. I have experienced so much already in these short three months and I am willing to share it with all of you as well as what is to come. I hope you enjoy my rantings, for there will be a few, but most importantly I hope you get a little piece of bliss called....Josh and Melissa.