Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Like Father, Like Son

Josh's biological father, Robert, was not very involved in his life. It's a sensitive issue with him that usually brings up feelings of resentment and sadness. It's a relationship foreign to me because I am very close to my father, whom I refuse to call anything but "Daddy" (something that seems to irk Josh like nails to a chalkboard). I attribute his disdain to the word "Daddy" to his lack of having one growing up.

However, Josh is nothing like his father and he will never be because Josh learned what not to do as a husband, father, son and friend. So maybe his father did teach him a few good things. It's just one more similarity between Josh and Alex (my dad). When I first started dating Josh I noticed it immediately, let me be more specific:

  • They both have similar upbringings
    • Absent parents
    • Bascially living on their own
    • Joined the church at 18 year of age
  • Mentality
    • Great work ethic
    • Constant Drive
    • High Confidence
  • FARTING (it's a constant issue but an easy transition)
  • Clothing
    • Similar taste (they usually match "TWINS"...looks funny since Josh is so much taller)
  • Dependable
  • Funny (my dad is a story-teller and Josh is developing his talent but he still enjoys telling a funny joke or story)
  • "I'm Right...you're wrong"
    • Both of them like to take up two lanes while driving and when I remind them to pick a lane their almost exact response is somewhere along the lines of "I pay for these streets, I can use both lanes if I want"
The list goes on and on and so I fear Freud was correct. Woman do marry their fathers (I always did tell my dad as a young child that I would marry him someday). As weird as that may sound... it's comforting to let go of my father, someone I completely trust, love and can depend on, to hold on to my husband, a man I completely trust, love, and can depend on.

Now Josh will have a Father he never had and my dad will have the blue-eyed son he never had!

Monday, June 18, 2012

Mother-in-Law not a Monster

This past weekend Josh and I drove up to a town outside of Tulsa to visit his (maternal) Grandpa Hank and to meet up with his mom Beverly (which I have already shortened to Bev) to celebrate Father's Day. Bev and I met on Skype about two weeks into my relationship with Josh but talking through a computer is a completely different feel as opposed to in person. I liked her then and she seemed to like me too still I was nervous the whole drive up to Oklahoma and Josh had a tough morning at work which made the trip a little tense.

When we finally got to his grandpa's house Josh kissed me sweetly and firmly, looked me in the eyes and tried to soften the mood and release any stress I had built up over the past few hours. It worked! We walked up to the door hand-in-hand and he knocked on the door. I could hear Bev as she approached us talking loudly and finally there she was, in the flesh! After her long tight hug with Josh she turned to me and did the same. It felt almost like hugging a long lost relative, there was so much love and tenderness, I had to fight back all the emotions so as to not break down.

Lucky for me I passed the initial test and it seemed like his mom liked me in person as well. We talked and talked and talked probably too much for Josh's liking but it was nice to be able to have such a smooth flow of conversation with her. Her openness made it easy to be honest and allow my emotions to be expressed. She has this wonderful laugh that rolls into two other types of laughs at the same time. There is an enthusiasm in her voice that gives off energy to those around her and keeps people wanting to stick around. We got to sleep in the same bed (which included some pillow talk Josh will never know about!) and that was an adventure all in itself. What I enjoyed the most was the simple fact that we could sit on the couch relax and just enjoy each other's company without there being an awkward silence. It was a blessing to know that we could get along so well from the get go. Bev has a part of her that my mother never could express but now I understand I had to wait for Josh to come into my life to enjoy two wonderful mothers for the rest of my life.

Josh's Grandfather Hank is just as interesting as his daughter Bev. He is strong and handsome at 70 years of age. He carries around Lexus his new puppy weiner dog (I get the feeling he's ready for great grandchildren). His passion for politics is astounding to hear about due to his experience with this country as a military man in the Air Force, seeing Nixon in office, and working back when minimum wage was just $3.25. His view on life is rewarding to hear about. His love for classic cars surpasses his dog which says a lot(he has a 1940's Ford Sedan sitting in his garage with hundreds of trophies lining the walls from car shows). He is light on his feet and words. A funny man who enjoys a joke or two (even dirty ones sometimes). His devoted companion Arlene is nothing short of a wife although she does not carry the title. Her beauty is sweet and soft. A good combination for Hank, but she also has her feisty side (no doubt repercussions from being in the military reserves, riding motorcycles with Hank, and being the "handy-man" around the house). A gracious couple whom I enjoyed and am excited to get to know even better.

I learned a lot about Josh and his family this week which only strengthens my love for him and my new family. It was a great time for us as we continue to mold our families together. This is a start of something rarely beautiful: two families instantly chained together willingly with a smile.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

"Livin' on a Prayer" (Bon Jovi)

We are halfway there. Just 50 more days until Josh and I are married. It got me thinking and the song "Livin' on a Prayer" popped into my head. It has taken us a lot to get to where we are individually and together. It hasn't all been roses and chocolates (which BTW I'm not a fan of). There have been some ups and downs but I wouldn't have it any other way. Our paths converging into one requires some adjustments.

The chorus of the song goes:

We're halfway there
Livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it- I swear
Living on a prayer

My favorite part is the part just before the chorus when he sings:

She says we've got to hold on to what we've got
Cause it doesn't make a difference
If we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot
For love- we'll give it a shot

I know this life cannot be lived looking through rose colored glasses. Harder times will come but I am prepared to fight and make it through. There isn't any other person I could see myself loving, fighting with, raising children, laughing and crying with, and growing old together. Josh is my one and only.

Halfway there and I am more excited than ever. Elated to see how our love will grow and morph into something I can't even imagine could exist at this point.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Treasure Hunting in the Rain

A few weeks ago, Josh and I decided to go apartment searching. We decided we would exhaust our options and think about it before signing anything. (If you've ever watched the movie "What to Expect when your Expecting", all I could think about was the quote by one of the guys, "If you're looking for a house, you're buying a house" no such thing as just looking for women). Josh only had Tuesday off and I worked Saturday morning the weekend before so that I could take off Tuesday during the week. So the day came and with it Mother Nature decided to drop by as well. Not to gross out any of my male readers but you can probably understand me when I say it was like a murder scene and I was in complete and utter pain. But even tears could not keep me from looking for a new place for Josh and I to begin our lives together so in the words of my sister Johamy, "Suck it" is what I did.

The morning started off slowly and each place we came to was either too pricey for Josh or too ghetto for me. We had already made a list of MUST HAVES.

1. Large walk-in closet (my #1 of course)
2. Pets allowed (his #1 of course)
3. Gated community
4. W/D connections
5. Pool and hot tub
6. 2 bed 2 bath
7. Open kitchen
8. Garden tubs
9. Euless or Bedford area
10. Fit the budget

Needless to say it's a lot harder to get two people to agree which led us to a lot of driving and looking at apartments which lasted about 7-8 hours. I was NOT a happy camper and yet Josh was as kind and loving as ever. He made sure to hold my hand lightly which made me feel wanted and loved. At one point (probably 4 hours in) we walked into an apartment and Josh asked me for the umteenth time what I thought of the place, of course my usual reply was "eh it's ok". His look of frustration following his response, "you've said that about every place!" made me lash out at him. That's when my double reared it's ugly face (she comes out to play once in a while). I told him every little thing that was wrong with it! He was happy with the price so he happened to overlook the important things like the small cramped kitchen which I already hate being inside of, the small closet space, the disgusting smell, and the lack of light. The list went on and on to which he responded, "You need food don't you babe?" A small smile appeared on my face. He took my hand once again and took me to Subway which really did make me feel a little better at least get me through another few hours.

The very last place we came to was this quaint little Cottage-looking apartment complex with a river running through it.  It looked promising but when we entered the apartment it actually exceeded our expectations. It had about 80% of our must have's and we both liked it. Of course, I fell in love right when I saw the 5 foot deep walk-in closet!!! It was perfect for us. So we signed a lease and will be residents of Bedford, Texas for nine months after we get married. So even though we had less than perfect weather (refering to my attitude) we found our first abode together a treasure all in itself.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Scuffy not so fluffy anymore

                                               (DISCLAIMER: I AM NO FAN OF PETS). 

This is my soon to be step-child Scuffy. He is adored by Josh in many ways for many years now. He has been there for Josh through the thick and thin. When I met Scuffy he was about twice the size he is now because Josh wasn't around as often, it seems Scuffy got a little depressed and lost some weight.

Naturally Scuffy was not my biggest fan. Who would be after I stole their complete affection and time from them? Anytime I was over at Josh's apartment Scuffy would give me evil eyes and would ignore me until Josh was sitting next to me. Obviously Scuffy would only come near me if Josh was there as well because Scuffy craved only Josh's attention. 

A few days ago Scuffy moved into my apartment on strict orders from Josh. Basically I was to learn to love this animal before we all moved in together (which BTW we get married in 60 days exactly!!!) So I caved and I took him in out of my love for Josh. During Scuffy's first few days he moped around, a bit nervous about the new environment and owner. (Scuffy must have sensed my plot to get rid of him, I'm pretty sure he heard the words poison and discard in the same sentence a time or two).  JK ;)

Like any child he pushed his boundaries. First little things like jumping up on the furniture, scratching the leather couches, etc. I was a little nervous about the situation and I quickly went into "Mom" mode. However, one day he decided to be extra bold and push the limits far beyond the boundaries. I was cooking dinner when I heard him shuffling in his poop box (looked like he was trying to cover it up in there) when all of a sudden I turn around and he was taking a dump on my living room floor!!!! I was livid to say the least. I started yelling at him, "SCUFFY WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING??" He was alarmed as he scurried through my living room and dinning room and into my bedroom with poop attached to his behind. I continued yelling as he began scooting his butt across my bedroom floor and then he ran under my bed to hide in shame.

As I searched for the poop. I prayed and hoped it wasn't under my bed or smashed across my floor. Yet to my great surprise it was on the wall of my dinning room. How the heck it got there I have no idea. Maybe he was aiming for his poop box but he was off about a foot or so! I was NOT happy. Y'all are probably laughing right about now and looking back someday I may laugh as well but not today. I locked him in the room for about 30 minutes as a time-out, even with him scratching at the door and meowing I stood firm until I was ready for him to come out. When he came out from under the bed his approach towards me was subtle and his meows resembled an apology. He brushed up against me in an attempt to settle the score and call a truce. And that was it.

Needless to say he is better behaved now and he tries to make it up to me each night by cuddling with me and allowing me to hug him through the night (something he has only allowed Josh to do a few times). We are much more patient with each other and a soft spot is starting to form in the corner of my heart for him. The rest of my heart belongs to Josh so there's little room for Scuffy anyways but it's the effort that counts.